Please don’t get a joke card. In my 20+ years of working with fathers, it has been rare that a joke card that makes fun of his abilities is really appreciated.

I wrote this to Dear Abby for Father’s Day, March 19, 2005.

APPRECIATION FOR JOB WELL DONE IS WHAT FATHERS WANT TO HEAR

DEAR ABBY: Today is Father’s Day, so why don’t we try to do more for dear old Dad than give him the usual greeting card that promotes the idea that all dads are imbeciles, followed by a collect call to see what he thought of the card. (Father’s Day is the day when the most collect calls are made.)

We should treat our fathers the way we treat our mothers on Mother’s Day and show them we appreciate them for being there. Yes, you probably tell your father all the time that you love him, but the minds of men work differently. Anyone can say I love you, but as men, knowing that we are appreciated for a job well done is what really gets us teary-eyed.

Something else you can do — especially you sons out there (but daughters can do it, too) — is to make sure Dad has been to the doctor for a checkup, including depression screening. This can go a long way toward making sure he’s here on Father’s Day next year.

I wasn’t raised by my father, but by a stepfather. Although we did not see eye-to-eye on many things, I would not be the person I am today if it were not for him. This man, who spent years climbing on top of heavy construction equipment to prepare the ground for many of the homes, businesses, roads and highways of Southern California, now finds it difficult to get into a car. Although none of the houses or roads have his name on them, they are all testaments to his life and the lives of men like him.

So today, let’s do something extra for Dad, without him pulling out his wallet to pay for it. — George McCasland, Overland Park, Kansas

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Remember, there’s a lot of us fathers sitting in nursing homes whose children live too far away to visit. Contact an activities director about volunteering Sunday morning. Read a list out loud about why you appreciated your father.

Maybe a book? Even if he doesn’t read much, you might be able to find something…
Grown Up All Wrong: 75 great rock and pop artists from Vaudeville to Techno
Rap Dance and Techno Who’s Who
General Ecstacy: Into the world of Techno and Rave Culture

They might not be music, but they might introduce him to some artists.

You can also go to the card store and look at some of the father’s day-related books they have… they generally range from heart-warming to hillarious.