Ginny Jin asked:
I ask this because I like giving the small children I know presents when I see them (keyrings, and things for their hair, stuff like that), but my husband told me to stop because it’s not appropriate. He thinks I’m spoiling them. What do you think?
I ask this because I like giving the small children I know presents when I see them (keyrings, and things for their hair, stuff like that), but my husband told me to stop because it’s not appropriate. He thinks I’m spoiling them. What do you think?
i do that with my children once a month if they have been good or have achieved something
I think it’s fine.
Doesn’t your husband like getting random gifts nice gestures from you?
Everyone likes it when someone does something thoughtful for them. It’s things like that that make our days brighter.
aw, thats not inappropriate! I have plenty of family friends that did that stuff, I’m not spoiled at all! And people do that with my kids too, they’re not spoiled!
Like, going to the bank and letting your kid pick a sucker out of the basket, same thing. It’s fine, and very sweet!
It is spoiling them, but I do it too. The problem is that they come to expect a gift every time they see you and you can’t keep it up forever.
I think it’s very generous. I don’t mind when people do that for my son but he has to say thank you and be grateful.
As long as the gift is small and not a bribe, it’s fine. Don’t you like getting a small gift out of the blue?
I see nothing wrong with it if done in moderation. I send my stepdaughter packages all the time just because. Nothing fancy and I’m certainly not spending any more than $20 at a time. But it’s because I want her to know we’re still thinking of her, we miss her, we love her, etc.
I really don’t do it too often, just every now and then.
I see your husband’s point though. It can lead a child to almost expect something of you. But if it’s done in moderation, and the kids understand they’re special for receiving a gift, and they learn to thank you for it, then I think they’ll be fine.
i think it teaches them you don’t have to be good for things. I also believe they will not value things when older.
I was spoilt as a child on my birthday, christmas etc. but never just randomly and i am so much better for it. i appreciate any gesture of kindness now… i don’t expect it!
I like to give my kids stuff to, I dont see a problem with it. As long as they aren’t screaming their head off to get something, I don’t see anything wrong with it.
I do the same thing for the kids that I know. I thnk they like the surprise of getting something different everytime they see me, and its not always as often as I would like. I do the same for my own child as well. I do think it is spoiling the kids, but it’s not hurting them.
I don’t see anything inappropriate here. Kids will love you!! I would, however, give simple, not so expensive gifts, so kids will learn it’s the thought that counts!!
Kids are only spoiled when you chronically excuse their misdeeds. They can’t be spoiled by any amount of love or attention. Some people are reluctant to pick up a crying child for fear of spoiling them. Such people are fruitcakes. As long as you don’t go overboard and your gifts are appropriate trinkets, simply symbols that you were thinking of them even when you’re apart, I think you’re on safe ground.
Maybe a better gesture is taking them out to lunch, dinner, movies, plays, museums, etc., as my childless aunt and uncle did with me and my cousins. The best gift is you.
lf you do it all the time then it’s only sending them the wrong signal. They could become materialistic as they grow up.
There is nothing wrong with that, and you are not spoiling them…spoiled children aren’t children who are given a lot of gifts…spoiled children are children who EXPECT gifts and don’t appreciate gifts when they are received. Everyone, even children appreciate a thoughtful gesture out of the blue. Remind your husband that it doesn’t have to be a holiday to show someone you love them.
It’s fine, as long it’s it’s not too much. You wouldn’t want these kids to start EXPECTING gifts everytime they see you. As long as it’s not expensive or big gifts then I think it is okay.
My daughter and I live next to an elderly lady named Dorothy and at least once a week there is a present wrapped up outside of our door when we get home. It’s okay, but sometimes it’s excessive. Sometimes it’s even daily for a week (like this week). I think she is a little senial, so it’s nice of her, but my daughter has enough crap and the stuff she gives is always crap! For instance, yesterday there was a little piano/keyboard thing…like I need more noise in my house…
I think it’s ok to do it, as long as they will grow up being appreciative.I tend to do it weekly with my small one, she is only 18 months old. my son is 16 today and he was treated the same and has grown into a fine young man, I am very proud to say. I can also see your husbands point though as some of my nephews and nieces are spoilt and put little or no values on things which I feel is a bad trait.